Mindless ramblings of the unimportant

Your touch pulls on the stitches of freshly mended wounds. Your lips like razor blades drag across my heart. You touch like you love, you kiss like you care. All the while my boundaries are crossed, and I dare not say a word. For these are borders I never set. Yet I’m torn when they are crossed. Boundless and confused.

With each day that passes I prove to myself what an emotional masochist I truly am. Self inflicted torture. It is strange though still some joy can be found in the time spent. Joy, not necessarily from the pain that I endure, but from time spent with you. With great joy however there is great suffering. It’s difficult to determine whether the pain overcomes the joy or vice versa. As it stand I am willing to suffer for the time I get. Call it what you will, whether be self destructive or not. Maybe some fucked up form of self mutilation, scars that can not be seen. I don’t know how but there still is some hope left in me. I don’t know how, I don’t know why. Maybe I’m truly seeing that bitch that Karma can be. I don’t know much of anything anymore.

It’s 2 a.m. and I’m still awake. Why? Because I’m thinking of you. You’re the first thing I think of when I awake in the morning. To see your beautiful face as I open my eyes, like an angel standing over me is indescribable. Thoughts of you leave me restless at night, and your on my mind throughout my day. I’m sure you’re in my dreams as well, if I could only recall them. You once were mine, but no more. I can’t stop loving you I tried. I was fine growing cold, then you touched me, a simple hug and I was warm again. Everything came rushing back. So I will do all I can do, admire from afar, hide behind my painted smiles. Show strength and not shed a tear. You will always be my love in my dreams.